WE'RE ENGAGED!!!

Like, officially!

So, as time goes on, I appreciate the engagement story more. James is a bit of an acquired taste, I've realized.

So, he and I were in the kitchen as he was getting something to drink. He TRICKED me into complaining about not having a ring. He knew just what to say, too.

"You know, in less than a week, we'll have been dating seven months!"
"Oh, ya..."
"What? You sound disappointed" (at that point, I knew he was setting me up to complain about it cause he's been doign that for a few weeks)
"I dont' WANNA be dating for seven months!!"
(I immediately noticed the overreaction to my comment) "Jane, WHAT CAN I DO to make you stop complaining about nto having a ring???"
"Umm... give me two?"
*He waltzes over to his jacket, pulls out a box from the pocket, slams it into my hand*
"Here's half"

Yup. That's how it happened. I insisted that he got down on one knee, which he eventually did. Then I had to force him to actually ask me to marry him.

"...But I already know what you're going to say"
"Ask it anyway!"
He did. I said yes.

About the ring:
aquamarine- (you can see the blue better in these pictures than in real life, it looks a lot like a diamond, which I wanted) I told him I didn't want a diamond because I'm concerned with the acts against humanity that  often happen with diamonds. Many places offer certification to prove that they were acquired humanely. However, they can't always be accurate.  I heard a story of how recently a diamond pit was found in Africa. People risked their lives (the government shot them if they saw them) to acquire diamonds so that they could feed their families. Those would be considered acquired "honestly" Also, a guy could buy diamonds from a dishonest source, then lie about how he acquired them as he sold them to America. I know, I shouldn't be concerned. I mean, Africa is known for its integrity and honest business practices. The two stones on the side are cubic zirconium). Also, diamonds are overrated and overpriced.
White gold (cause yellow gold just doesn't go with aquamarine)
Shape It's actually a VERY subtle heart shape. But it looks more round (or vaguely triangular) than anything.

I'm happy. :D

More pictures:

You know, from these angles, it looks a rose.

Can't sleep... clowns

More accurately, medication. But medication is kind of like clowns... annoying, scary, distracting at Mass...

Anyway, so I've been doing research on my new meds due to a series of minor side effects I've had. I'm calling my doctor tomorrow. most of the research I've done indicates that most people don't have such severe symptoms till they get to the 4.5mg dose. I'm on the 1.5.

I can't sleep more than 5 hours, which is annoying because I like to go to bed around 10pm. I'm desperately tired throughout the day, but wide awake at night. I don't understand why the docs tell people to take this at night. It's better (and worse!) than caffeine! I also don't tend to need much sleep as it is, but the getting up at 3am every day is annoying.

Because it's designed to bind with endorphins, it tends to be a mood booster. Well, I've found myself in a chemical depression due to it for the past few days. This morning is the first time I've felt any sort of positive thing from it. I've been on it for 5 days. Love for God was the only thing that got me to Mass this morning. Luckily, the depression (manifesting as lack of motivation, sluggishness, cloudy-headedness, irritability, and crying at random things [oh, I don't know, like when James was joking that I'll never get a job and we'll never get married]) seems to be the type that you can force yourself out of when necessary. The piles upon piles of dishes in my kitchen will say otherwise, but there have been other symptoms I've had too work out of myself.

I've been getting really nauseated. I almost had to pull over after Mass today cause I started getting lightheaded and nauseated. Yet again, forced concentration worked to minimize it enough to be able to safely get home, then I laid down for a few hours.

I go back and forth from feeling like I'm going to throw up to feeling like I can run a marathon. It's annoying.

Other symptoms:
- getting chills (though I've been having on-and-off fevers/infections so I don't know what's causing that)
- crying at everything (seriously,I tell James, "I'm never going to find a job and we'll never be able to get married!" and he goes,."That's okay, we'll just wait 5 or  10 years till I get successful in my writing, and then I'll need to hire a secretary! ...Jane? ...Jane, are you crying? Why are you crying? I was being sarcastic..." I seriously will be acquitted for his murder one day)
- dizziness upon standing. I've walked into a few things and fallen into walls (much more often than normal) when getting up in the middle of the night.
- getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and just going in general, happens more often now.

All of this and no real difference in pain. I mean, he told me it would take a month or two to really be effective, but it's annoying when I read reports of all these people who had results like the next day. I have exactly three weeks of my old medicine left. I will note, now, though, that for the first time I'm thinking about the pain in my side and I don't feel it. I feel a certain fullness or thickness, maybe slight tenderness, but I'm not feeling the pain that's been so burdensome. Usually, even on my other medicine, if I think about the pain I can feel it to a small (but substantial) degree.

I'm feeling slightly tired again, so I'm going to try and sleep again. There's nothing important I can do right now while everyone is asleep upstairs anyway.

Bright. Pink. Suspenders

For those of you who don't know, James and I are hoping to get married some time next summer. He is one of those crazy intellectuals (I chose my terms VERY carefully) who has a million books and a million boxes of things he needs to go through and learn to get rid of.  There is not space at his mother's so he is moving his stuff in with me. Today he went through his rather substantial sock collection. In it he found these:

bright pink suspenders.

You actually can't tell just how bright they are from the picture... but they are bright. I think if I were a man, I would title a blog bright pink suspenders. As a female it would just sound weird.

I asked James how he acquired such an article, and why. He (praise God) admitted he had no idea where they came from and no intention of keeping them. Good. I was afraid this could be some strange testament to your manliness and have been given to you by your dear Aunt's nephew's fourth cousin twice removed's father in law and therefore was not to be trifled with. I can deal with getting rid of it... But who would want those? Nevermind... I shouldn't ask. 

People have crazy things. James is no exception. Among his collection of oddities (other than himself, mind you) we found a teapot of the likeness of Henry VIII (James has no idea what to do with it, I told him that I hear those make nice wedding gifts ;), a knight bust, and and about 6 or 7 laundry baskets.

"But James, I've never once heard of you using a laundry basket"

"I don't, I just acquired them through the years."  

"....sigh" 

insert appropriate "____ or bust"
comment here

I don't hate most of his stuff, but rather wonder why he has it or why he's kept it. I've seen him pack his car for trips before, never once have I seen him pack a suitcase or backpack... He has two of each. I just... don't get him. 

Combining our towels and sheets has been interesting since apparently we both have a hoarding problem with those. I think collectively we have at least a dozen sets of twin size sheets. We've decided that we're keeping our mattresses till they die so we'll probably keep many of the sheets, too. I came across this set, though. 

Not gonna lie, the thought of a little boy
curling up in these sheets makes my heart melt. 

 James loves to fish. At first I thought this was the dorkiest thing in the world for a 28 year old man to have (and it probably is)... but it's just too frikkin cute!

The apartment is *beginning* to come together for real this time. Most of the books have a home...

Okay, so, not a REAL home yet, but at least they're mostly out and on something... not taking up space in my pantry...

...which now is just being used as storage for non-book related stuff.

Reason we're made for each other #274,859,275: We're both idiots. 

James: has a jacket with TWO mousetraps latched onto it. Thinks taking mousetraps off of jacket will magically fix said jacket. Decides jacket will probably need to be thrown out. Throws jacket with multiple glue stains (from the mouse trap) onto my carpet.

Degreaser, carpet cleaner, and concentrated carpet cleaner are
no match for mousetrap glue. (Picture does not adequately show stain)

I told the landlady who bought the rug. She didn't seem too worried cause it's just a small sticky spot. I'm still ready to kill James, though. 

On the other hand I'm not so much of a genius myself.

Me: Warm day means I get to hang wet laundry on my deck to dry.I do so. Hours later I think, "I'll just let it sit overnight and get it in the morning." Next time, I'll check the forecast. 

Two days later: still moist.

That's the craziness of my day today. But the question still remains: anyone want a pair of pink suspenders?

Medical stuff

I'm starting a new medicine for my endometriosis. It's too complicated to go to what I'm currently taking, but I found out that my medicine is being recalled. I looked it up, it's for a packaging error. I've taken it into consideration, and have decided that I'm going to take the remainder of my current medicine. You have to understand, my endo creates a HORRIBLE pain in my side. It doesn't ever stop hurting unless I'm on my medicine. I can't just stop until this new medicine is in me and working well enough. A laparoscopy has confirmed that I have a pretty severe case of endo, and the fact that I respond well to the meds indicates that the pain and the endo are probably correlated (this is the way the medical world works).

My doctor prescribed a medicine that in higher doses is used to treat drug addicts and in lower doses is used to help the immune system function more properly (research has recently indicated that endo is likely an auto immune disease). It's new and still being studied, however, enough research has been done for me to be comfortable trying it. My doctor is a pro-Life Catholic doctor and... basically I trust his judgement in this. Not to mention the side effects on my current medication can be pretty horrendous. This new drug is supposed to give me a little nausea for a few weeks, then I'll be good. I'm excited to try this out. You have to understand I've been a guinea pig most of my life. Living in DC, I participated in multiple drug trials with the NIH. I was even in one for one of the most popular drugs used to treat arthritis. (PS: I've had arthritis since I was 2).

Speaking of my arthritis, I have to tell you about this! I went to my new rhuematologist (arthritis doctor). I was taking Remicade, a very powerful, very expensive infusion medication and I was up for a re-certification by my insurance (every 3 years). My doctor took my blood tests and X rays and said we should be able to start it in 2 weeks. When I went back, instead of starting the medication, she asked me all sorts of questions about accessing medical records (Remember, I recently moved so new doctor). Through a series of odd and annoying circumstances, I don't have access to any rhuemie notes for the last ten years. She said that I basically can't get the Remicade again until my arthritis flares up again. I was a little confused and she explained, "your body shows no evidence of arthritis. Your bloodwork is negative for rheumatoid factor, your xrays are fine, your joints aren't even swollen... you basically don't have arthritis right now." Wow. Talk about some good news! So this means that the Remicade knocked me into some serious remission! This means I can now get medicines that are less potent and less expensive! What a blessing for such a difficult time in my life!

Please pray for my job hunt. It's been quite an experience and I just can't wait for it to be over. Thanks.

It's the little things...

The other day, James did something really sweet for me. It was very small, but it still is making me smile.

That is all. :)

A Personal Note About Modesty

The following only addresses females with the vocation of marriage. Rather, females with the possibility that their vocation is marriage.

Now, I am frequently in traddy circles going to trad Masses. I also went to one of the more orthodox Catholic colleges out there. The topic of modesty has come up a lot.

To understand where I am on modesty, you really need to understand what I've seen and where I've come from. Unfortunately, I've swung on both sides of the pendulum and seen the harmful effects on each side as well. I was public schooled and raised a politically correct version of Baptist. My parents are good people, but they believed that it's important to allow your children to experience everything for themselves. They very rarely said anything about my clothing typical for young girls my age (my mom did however, tell me she wouldn't buy me this shirt that showed waaay too much). I didn't wear anything horribly scandalous, but lets just say there are a few pictures of my summer wear in high school that I hope my future children (God willing) never see. The fact is I never intentionally presented myself as an object of lust, but that doesn't mean I wore the best.

Then, I became Catholic. I decided that all of my clothing other than my t-shirts and jeans were to be destroyed and the scraps thrown away. Months later, tired of the t-shirts, I went out with the girls in pursuit of some modest but somewhat stylish clothing. I showed my Catholic boyfriend and he was appalled, claiming that my nice casual shirt (that had a high neckline and covered low enough, too) was immodest because he could see part of my body shape. It was not tight by any means, but because he could tell I was a girl at a glance, he wanted me to return it. Ridiculous. In the end he realized that there was nothing objectively wrong with it and any personal problems he had with it he just had to overcome himself.

Ladies. If your boyfriend/friend/fiance/whatever has a problem because you were something that has no objective or prudential problem to it, that's not your problem. I heard a guy once tell me that he finds it tempting when a girl wears a knee length skirt (*note* as a general rule, avoiding these conversations is a positive thing). Does that mean we should go back to Victorian times? What does objective or prudential problem mean? Continue reading.

So I transferred to my Catholic college where during the spring, most women wear skirts at least sometimes. There were very few times in my five years there that I saw any huge problem with clothing. I can think of three right now. Blissful paradise when it comes to clothing, right? NO! People there are OBSESSED with making sure people follow the "spirit of the university clothing policy." One friend wore a fishnet poncho over a cami (a tank top with thin, often adjustable, straps). She was RAILED. Yes, I'll agree that she shouldn't have worn something that showed a (a little of her) bra strap on campus, but she would have gotten the same response for wearing anything but a full t-shirt underneath. But the fact is if she wore that outside our campus, no one would have noticed except to say, "Oh, hey, that's a cute poncho..." or "that girl's got a fun style." Another example: a girl was told she was not allowed to wear footie pajamas (one piece pajamas that literally cover everything except hands and neck-up) in the common areas because "guys might think she's naked underneath her clothes."

After 3 years of being Catholic, my spiritual life went into a bit of a lull for a bit. It was after this that I discovered the Latin Mass. It changed my life and, similar to my conversion experience, I wanted to purge all the evil from my life once more. I had always loved wearing long skirts, but I started wearing them on principle. I ransacked thrift stores for their longest, in some cases ugliest, skirts that my short frame could stand. I'm not going to lie, I think I managed to make some of those skirts work a lot better than most. I noticed that if you fair a "grandmother" skirt with a cute top... you can make it work. I claimed that my increase in wardrobe was a dedication to simplicity. I painfully got rid of my ridiculously cute denim jacket that I had searched for literally a year to find. I got rid of my jeans because they didn't fit and were developing holes. I didn't replace them because (just like every other girl I know) it's hard to find jeans that fit well. After a while, though, I stopped wearing pants altogether. I then started to obsess about the length of my skirts. I am quite vertically challenged so I have to be more careful than some and basically find that going just above the knee is my limit for modesty (I have a tall friend who can wear a skirt that's 5 inches above her knee and still look completely modest! **jealousy**). Note how modesty has some subjective standards.

My wardrobe consisted of around 35 different skirts. These were flowy skirts, pencil skirts (only long), a-line skirts, you name it, I probably had it. I started giving away tops that were "too tight" on me (closer and closer to the standards I corrected in my former boyfriend years before). I started getting rid of my knee length and A-line (usually right at the knee) for modesty reasons. I remember one time I almost got rid of a favorite skirt of mine because it was flowy and if I spun around it went above my knees. I realized at that point that this was starting to get ridiculous. I honestly believed, though, that I was doing this for the sake of God and modesty, so I couldn't stop.

Then, I really don't know what spurred this, James and I (just friends then) began discussing how ridiculous trad Catholics can be in their standards for "modesty." He told me that on one pilgrimage someone pointed out the only girl wearing jeans and said, "You can tell she hasn't been one of us for very long" referring specifically to the jeans. He pointed out how standards of modesty really depend on your geographical location. Example: Africa. It is not considered immodest for women to go around wearing nothing but a small sash around their waist. It's just what people are used to. Even in this country, I think most devout Catholics living in Texas would agree that a tank top (that's high enough up top and low enough on the bottom) would be completely modest! These conversations took a few weeks to sink in, but I finally realized that it is acceptable for me to embrace some sense of style as a devout, practicing, even traditional Catholic! I now feel comfortable presenting myself as a stylish and still modest individual.

There are a few distinctions that need to be made:
1. Just because something is modest does not mean it's appropriate for Sunday Mass of Holy Days of Obligation. Example: those nice and modest tank tops I mentioned earlier. Wearing these to Sunday Mass  of HDOs would or at least should be considered disrespectful, even considering today's standards (using a cami as an undershirt is fine, though). Case in point: Men's shorts. I have never heard of a complaint about immodesty in men's shorts (though it wouldn't surprise me to hear of one). They are never appropriate for Sunday Mass or HDOs. (note the distinction between Sunday Mass and Daily Mass... I basically think that if it's alright to wear it to the grocery store, it should most likely be decent enough for Daily Mass. If not, the restrictions are definitely lighter than Sunday Mass).

2. Attractive does not mean sexual. I can dress to look like a woman. I can be stylish, I can look appealing to a man in a non-sexual way. If I am wearing something that covers what needs to be covered and is not obviously too tight, I should not fear it being immodest. No matter how stylish.

3. Immodest is different than imprudent. Immodest means something objectively wrong to wear. Imprudent means that it's likely to cause problems for those who struggle with temptation. There is room for leeway with some imprudent outfits, but there is never any excuse for immodest.

4. What we teach our little boys are immodest are going to be understood as immodest to them. What I mean is if I were to teach my sons that bare shoulders are sexual and not to look at them, then their minds are going to gravitate to sexual things if they see a woman with bare shoulders (which are everywhere). If we teach boys that ankles are sexual, they are going to think that ankles are sexual. If we teach them that you shouldn't look at a woman's left pinkie finger because it's sexual then he's going to think a woman's left pinkie finger is sexual. Consider Muslim countries. They teach men that everything about women is sexual. Women have to wear burkas which cover everything except a small slit for the eyes. I hear people are trying to pass legislation that only one eye can be uncovered, because it is too sexual to show both eyes.

A few suggested guidelines for girls:
1. Avoid midriffs like the plague. The plague is bad... very bad. I've never known a guy to not have a problem with midriffs. However, this would be considered imprudent rather than immodest. However, even slight midriffs can be very, very imprudent depending on the circumstances.

2. Bare shoulders, tank tops, tube tops (with no bare midriff) should be fine as long as there is no cleavage or bra straps showing. (**note** those "invisible" bra straps are made of such shiny plastic that you're not fooling anyone**)

3. Shorts and skirts should be considered carefully. Find the shortest length that flatters your body shape but doesn't show too much and commit to never going shorter. If you are growing, keep in mind your changing shape.

4. If you feel circulation rushing into your legs when you take off a pair of jeans, they're too tight. Other than that, I can't think of any concrete regulations. Find standards that you are comfortable with wearing, and you're comfortable with other people seeing you in.

5. It is generally accepted among Catholics that cleavage should be avoided. When it's very slight it can be a prudence issue. When it's anythign more than very slight, it's a modesty issue. Keep in mind that guys taller than you can see more than you think they can.

A very broad general guideline is that if the outfit makes the average American go "woooahhh..." (not in a good way) then it's a bad thing.

Advice to parents:
(I'm not counselor, I have no kids, but these seem at least like good ideas, and I am a daughter)

1. Heavily guard against immodesty, but be cautious about correcting imprudence. Pick your battles with imprudence because if you push your authority too hard, it's likely that she'll not take your authority seriously.

2. Be careful to not put your personal preferences as guidelines for modesty. If you have a problem with something she wears because of your personal preference, tell her your concerns and only address them as your concerns. If she's wearing something immodest tell her, but be sure to provide a good explanation that it's actually immodest.

3. Don't be afraid to let your daughter look attractive. If her vocation is marriage you want her to attract men. Okay, not when she's 12, but later in life. It's a good sign of her vocation if she wants to be attractive even at 12.

A few belated thoughts on September 11

I realize this is a week late, but I didn't quite know how to say all this before.

I am pleased that on September 11th, I could go to Mass and hear a beautiful homily... having nothing to do with the tragedy associated with ten years ago. Don't get me wrong. It was a HUGE deal in America, it should be mentioned in our history classes, our memoirs, ect. In America it shouldn't be forgotten, just like the attack on Pearl Harbor, we should teach our children that these are things that happened and we responded to them... not always in the best way. HOWEVER, the Church is bigger than America. The Church extends throughout the entire world where larger casualties have happened through natural disasters and human cruelty. Ten years ago, thousands of people lost their lives. Hundreds,if not more, probably did something heroic, something amazing. We will never know all the stories of heroism that day.

However, the Church exists because around 2000 years ago, one man did something heroic... and it's worth more than all other stories of heroism combined. One man lost his life, and it was more tragic than September 11th times one billion. The people in Pennsylvania risked their lives to save hundreds or thousands of people, including my mother (more on that later). But the fact of the matter is, when Our Lord and Savior sacrificed himself, which is what we have the mandate to CELEBRATE every Sunday at Liturgy, he gave all of us the opportunity to be saved. Everyone's mother, father, friend, second-cousin's-nephew, everyone is given the opportunity to accept salvation. THAT is what's important on this and every anniversary of 9/11 and every day.

Please note, I don't mind priests mentioning the effects of this day in their homilies, just like I don't mind them saying "I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving" as long as it's not considered the central aspect of the Liturgy. I am pleased that it wasn't addressed, because it didn't need to be, If the priest briefly mentioned it, I would be just as pleased that it wasn't elevated to more than it is.


Personal reflections on September 11th
Because this is a private blog about my life, I consider it entirely appropriate that I write about it here. I was living in Northern Virginia about 30 minutes from DC when the attacks happened. My mother worked right across the street from the Capitol.

Ten years ago I was in high school. I remember waking up around 6:00 am and I felt truly awful. I wasn't sure whether I would go to school or not. I decided to myself, "No, Jane, you're going to have a good day today if you have to force yourself through it!" I remember that I was about to basically have a free period and I decided that I would read the book of Philippians. I was Protestant back then, fyi, and in a public high school. I remember a woman coming in and telling the teacher to turn on the news, something dreadful had happened. When I first saw the smoke coming out of the building, I wondered what all the fuss was about... buildings get bombed all around the world all the time.

Then I read the highlight underneath, "New York City Attacked" or something like that. It hit me... that was us. I stopped reading my Bible and decided to pray. One of my classmates thought I was crying. I remember it was sometime shortly before 9 o'clock. As we kept watching, as all of us were glued to the TV by then, I heard the commentator mention something else in the sky. I can still hear his voice screaming, "ANOTHER ONE! OH MY *** IT'S ANOTHER ONE!" as the second plane hit the other building of the World Trade Center.

I do not remember if I watched the buildings fall live or if my memories are from the repeated footage that makes my stomach turn to this day. I must have watched that footage over a hundred times that day, and I've refused to watch it again. I think I was in a different classroom that did not have a TV when the towers fell... or the teacher just couldn't take it anymore. I doubt it, though, because all of us were concerned about our loved ones as rumors of numerous airplanes attacking nearby flew like wildfire. I know I was not near a television when the Pentagon was hit. I kept hearing rumors that a plane had hit the Capitol building, but I refused to believe it. My mom worked literally across the street from the Capitol  in the Longworth building (which I only remembered because her face lit up when she showed us the view directly of the Capitol from her boss' office ). I was not going to panic about my mother until I had a reason to believe it. I tried to stay calm and I'm glad I did. She is still fine to this day.

I figured that I would hear it on the news, or that more people would be screaming and upset (the way the reaction was when the Pentagon was hit). You must understand, most of our parents worked in DC, or at least nearby. Also, a lot of the important buildings in DC are very close together and could get demolished easily by a large plane in one swoop. The Pentagon is actually located in Northern Virginia, with a small field on the side where the plane hit. Want to know the eerie thing? The Pentagon was in the process of major renovation. The wing that had been hit just had that phase completed. The walls were reinforced. Had the plane hit any other wing much more damage would have been done, possibly even most of the building destroyed. As it was, only that one wing was severely damaged, and, I think, the only casualties were from that wing. A friend of mine lost her mother in the Pentagon. She told me that before they contacted her... she just knew that her mother had passed, and she felt at peace about it. I tried to be there for her in times afterward. I invited her over to my house many times. But life goes on and people change. I spoke with her rarely throughout high school and only exchanged one set of messages with her several years ago.

The rest of the day was spent in a haze, as no one could seem to contact their families via cellphones. No one was expected to teach. I was among the few that refused to watch the same footage over and over, but tried to either talk to my friends or read by myself. I honestly do not remember much of that day. As I made fairly clear, I cannot remember much clearly after the second tower was hit.

They had considered closing the schools but it was rightfully deemed better for the children to stay in school for the day. No one took roll or cared if parents picked up their children, but the schools were not likely targets. Also, many parents could not come to get their children because traffic was so bad as everyone was coming home from work early. I think the Metro was completely closed for safety reasons as well. What I do remember was coming  out of the bus. I remember I had a little trouble getting off the bus because my knees were a little sore and I got off rather slowly. My next door neighbor was behind me and almost pushed my off (not literally) and kinda rushed me to hurry up because she wanted to hug her father, who also worked in DC. I completely understood as I ran over to hug my mother.

I don't know about other people, but we didn't have school the next day. We did on Thursday. I still remember the aftermath of this, too. Flags flew from people's cars. Sexually annoying bumper stickers (like "Honk if your...") or even political bumper stickers were replaced by "Honk for America!" Every church bulletin board had Scripture. There was solidarity. I knew it wouldn't last, but it was refreshing for my young eyes to see.

Job hunting

So for the first time since about March, I am beginning to feel rather hopeful about this job hunt. I've been looking for a job since about January, to basically no avail. I had a part time job at a Catholic bookstore (which I loved, but the commute was awful and I couldn't get full time) then I went back to my college to do some seasonal custodial work. But basically, I have been looking for full time employment since January and haven't found it. The fact that I just moved doesn't help, but I've been looking for jobs in my current location since May.

I've had 3 interviews (all before I officially moved) and I'll be having my fourth on Tuesday. It's for a Catholic Cemetery and I'd basically be a sales rep, but it has a strong taste of social worker to the job as well. I think I'd really like it, mainly because most of the jobs I've had since I've been Catholic have been for Catholic organizations. I also do happen to really enjoy sales work as well as social work.

If THAT doesn't work out, though, I have a few other tricks up my sleeve.
1) I start volunteering at the hospital next week (oh crap, I gotta get that blood test done, shoot!). I started this because I generally like the hospital's reputation, and it'll help me get an in with the hospital, which seems to (as many hospitals) have many open full time positions.

2) I just found this GREAT job as a volunteer coordinator (not a volunteer position) at the local St Vincent De Paul (one of my favorite saints, St Louise de Marillac, the patroness of Social Workers, worked closely with St Vincent). I just love what they do, too, and I think this would be an ideal job for me, I fit the qualifications really well! I've been praying to St Louise and St Vincent to help me find good employment as a social worker, because it is honestly my passion in life (before anyone thinks anything, I will admit that I'm probably one of the strangest "trads" out there. I'm a trad and a social worker!). I worked on my cover letter today and I have to send it in by the deadline on Friday.

3) I have one more trick up my sleeve.  James' mom got into contact with this woman who is starting a day care about half an hour away. She and I have sent several emails back and forth, and I've put myself in a very good (and honest) light. She is concerned about having someone responsible, and let's face it, I'm more responsible than at least 3/5ths of my generation. She is not interviewing until October and the place will not be up and running until November at the earliest, so she said she doesn't mind if I find something else beforehand. I greatly respect the way she describes it, it's not your typical "sit kids in front of the TV all day" day care nonsense. It's stresses learning good behaviors from the beginning. It sounds like something I would enjoy, but be exhausted by... Oh well, I'm still young.

I'll try to keep this updated as far as I know anything. Please keep my job hunt in your prayers to St Joseph, too... because he's particularly awesome.

More moving stuff

So I've been getting to sleep before 10pm every night this week and I've been thinking that I'm just getting old. I mean, I'm a twenty-something college graduate and I'm going to bed before 10??? I do have the disadvantage that I can't drive at night, but still, it's annoyign that I have so few friends. I'm a social butterfly... why am I not having dinners and social events? Oh yes, because my apartment is a wreck!

This is my pantry. With the exception of the dishes on the top of the left shelves, those are all books. It is huge, which is awesome, but ya, it's annoying that there's so much stuff. 

One week ago, the apartment looked like this:

Now, it looks like this

Sigh. it hurts. But at least all of James' stuff is here, now. We just get to go through it whenever he comes by. Obviously, for those who don't know, just because we are engaged does NOT mean he lives with me. That is immoral and wrong. Well, I guess it's not technically always immoral, for example, I knew of a couple that lived in the same house after they both lost their homes in Katrina and they moved in with her parents. That was temporary and they both hated it. However, under normal circumstances, that's just not right (the sin of living together without having sex is still a mortal sin because it's putting yourself in a "near occasion of sin" and let's face it, under normal circumstances, if you're living together, people are going to assume you're having sex). I tend to forget that most people in this country don't live by the same standard and I was actually chastised a bit for not living with my boyfriend by a hairdresser. Look, we believe that sex before marriage is wrong. I really honestly don't give a crap about whatever "do what you feel like" nonsense you want to put in my head. 

I do tend to make myself sound bad though, cause I constantly talk about his stuff being here and I say things like, "Let's go home" to him. Oops. Look, I grew up a good little Christian girl with no idea how often that actually happens (okay, at least until I went to my public high school). I assume that people are going to realize that James and I believe in purity before marriage. I try and watch myself, but oh well. People will think what they will. 

James feels badly about the mess he's making, but we both realize that there just is no other place to put it all. He's currently living with his mother and she doesn't have enough space. He promises to give away most of it, but he has hoarding tendencies so he wants to go through everything. See, with me, I could just seriously through away everything that's not religious. We want to give away some religious things, but we want to make sure they go to a home where they will be treated properly. You shouldn't ever throw away pictures of saints or the Blessed Virgin or Our Lord, but people do all the time. James makes every effort to burn all of the Catholic newsletters or papers he gets with any religious symbols on them. Though it can get annoying, I appreciate how strongly dedicated he is to doing what's right no matter the inconvenience. Don't ever throw away Sacramentals, either, just sayin. 

I want more Catholic friends! It's the pain of moving to a new area! I don't know many people! I have GOT to make friends!!! 

Names and Music

My name here is Li'l Liza Jane. I picked this because two of the nicknames I have for myself are"Liza" and "Jane" I started this when in highschool I heard the song below and I just liked it. There was also a band around that time that labelled "Songs about Jane" (Don't remember the band, never owned it, simply liked the title). I started making music playlists with the stolen album title for songs about me and my personality.

This is the song, however, imagine it more the way I heard it. Piano instead of banjo, and a host of about 15-20 handsome (and sadly, mostly gay) men. They were very animated, unlike this version, but this is the closest version to the song I ever heard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiFpiJQn0-o

It's funny that I liked that song so much. I generally like most types of music, at least one or two out of a category. But folk music to me is just UGH! I just can't stand it. Perhaps it's the superficial, simple cords. Perhaps it's the cheesy expressions on people's faces. Perhaps it's the fact that the only thing my ex would listen to is Weird Al and folk music from this one movie that I just didn't like (and he'd play nothing but through 6 hour car rides that we would consistently make together to visit my and his family...). No that couldn't be it.

I often wonder if I scandalize my landlord/lady upstairs due to my variety of music. I have blasted everything from classical (it IS fun to blast...) to dance-pop, mild rock, and even the occasional R&B song (*gasp* a trad Catholic listens to R&B?) I judge music by the individual song, in most cases. An example of a case I don't is Lady Gaga. There is nothing good in any of her music so I just let her do her thing without influencing me. I heard a few weeks ago this commercial for an interview with her and she said something like "I believe music is a lie... and we just need to try and reach for the truth." What. The. Crap. So many idiots in the world today would think that to be profound. It's saying exactly nothing. It doesn't even make sense. She tries to say and do things that are so blatantly outside of the norm (oh, I don't know, like dressing as an EGG?) just to be "different." Look, lady, if that's what it takes to be different, then I'll gladly accept my place as just like everyone else... which ironically sets me apart from most.

Earlier I mentioned that Liza and Jane are two of my nicknames for myself. Yes, I also have Lily and Lilian, Emily (though, I don't really use that one anymore), and Melissa (which I still respond to after my best friend Melissa and I spent so much time together that people would always mix us up). Jane is my favorite nickname, but I'll probably bounce around a lot.

James'll be coming over in a few hours to help out with the apartment. I got most of the pantry items actually in the pantry (gasp!) last night. As soon as I unpack my camera, I will put pictures up of the organized wreck that it is. At least it's huge so it can be used as *I hope* temporary storage.

First entry

Not gonna lie. I'm starting this mainly because I saw a bunch of my friends are doing it. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd like to post going on in my life right now. I just recently moved into a beautiful new apartment and I'm looking for a job. My boyfriend and I are waiting until I get a job to be able to plan our wedding, but it's basically taken for granted that we're basically engaged. I'm dealing with a whole new world over here after college and it's going to be interesting.

Lilies are my favorite flower, hence the blog name.

A few things about me:
I am Catholic, tried and true.
I don't mind saying it like it is, though I do try to practice diplomacy and not *needlessly* offend people.
I am really bad at keeping up with blogs.
I generally prefer the Traditional Mass, but both forms are valid.
I don't mind it when people prefer the Novus Ordo, as long as they think that Liturgy should be done well, according to the rubrics and with due reverence to the king of Kings

I do not intend to get into specifically Catholic issues, but I'm sure they will come up.

So some random things. James has a bunch of his stuff at my house because we're hoping to get married by next summer. Right now he has piles of clothes in my living room, boxes of clothes in my pantry, and a host of just plain stuff in my living area (separate from my living room though attached). Sigh. Tomorrow he's coming over after work to help. Today, I feel rather accomplished cause I put what will soon be my craft table up. I moved his stuff out of my living area to make space for it. Then I realized that this will not be the permanent location of it as the vent sits right where a chair would go. Sigh. I'm not completely positive that the craft stuff will go out here, but, so help me, I WILL make a spot for it all!

My room is a disaster because two of my three dresser drawers are broken (the part that slides it in and keeps it parallel to the ground is broken or gone). I am lucky enough to have a hardware store a block away from my apartment. I got the parts, and it took me 20 minutes to get the screw into unusually thick backing wood, but I did it. Then I find.... I got the wrong size. I spent another 30 minutes trying to pry the plastic part open to get it to work, but to no avail. Sigh. Going back tomorrow to try and get a bigger size. I'll bring the broken piece this time (. I'd love to be able to not see piles of CLEAN clothes on my floor and be able to walk. I wasn't able to before, but I could blame that on James. Now, it's just my fault. I hate it when it's my fault.

Now it's time to do the dishes and think about getting other stuff done.

May God bless you!